Stop looking for other people to validate you. Why do you try and accord yourself to the shifting whims of other people? They barely know themselves, let alone you ~ let alone the limitations of language and the spoken word ~ let alone the veil of perceptions and opinions that keep us from seeing the is-ness of another person, no matter how close. Talking to another human being is like two reflections in a mirror talking to the reflection OF the other reflection. The inner and outer being of Man are not in accord for most people, including you. We wear a mentally processed mask over our emotions and gut reactions to show to other people. Another person sees this mask, and THAT mask is subject to THEIR MASK; their interpretations, opinions and illusions, before being processed and responded to. A reflection of a reflection gives way to compounded errors in understanding. Nothing of substance is what happens when two people communicate so why allow for suffering in the eventuality of misunderstanding?
Someone angry at me and I am angry at them because we can't agree on how to properly fold the sheets at the hotel I'm working at. I see "me having a bad day, me wishing I'd spoken up earlier about their rudeness last week, their pinched expression, my knowledge that I did the job right." I don't see their father and ex telling them they're meek, how I look so much like that tall bully from middle school, how I didn't hear a question they asked me last week and how much that irritated them," and neither do they because we both just see the sheets and the veils of illusion covering it all. Masks upon masks is the Game of Maya, and how can you ever find peace if you expect people who can't even see their own nature to see yours? If you try to be kind and honest but insist on others giving you their all as well, then you're not being kind, you're being selfish because you expected to gain for giving. If you're truly kind, then be kind.
I can see my true nature. Its not kind but not unkind, but I have to learn to stop thinking others are shooting arrows into my heart whenever people don't accept me and validate me. The game is what it is and it will try and pull you back into it because that's its nature. If you're going to stop playing, Mister, then stop altogether, not halfway, otherwise you're only creating further pain for yourself. The only person you need validation from is YOURSELF ~ and eventually not even that, because there's no one or nothing to validate. But that last bit you don't feel in your bones…Not yet. So be your own crutch until you can cast that aside and run.