Rambling, unfinished post saved from draft November 20th, 2011

(Normally I wouldn’t bother with publishing this post, but I’ve a real lack of material here to cover – it’s hardly proofread or finished in it’s entirety; I just want SOMETHING here)

So I finished “Eat, Pray, Love” a few days ago and wanted to think a bit about “the Voice of God” that Elizabeth hears in her thoughts…Her soul, every so often. It’s funny, cause see, I have one too.

Seriously.

It’s common enough that I don’t even think it’s all that strange to have that…Conscience…God whisper…Whatever you want to call it. But it wasn’t until I read her book that it really hit me: holy hell, that’s really WEIRD!

It’s just this presence of inner wisdom that gives me answers when I address it “just so.” Unlike Liz, I don’t usually start by praying…I’m often just posing a question to myself; like I just did coming out of the elevator this night. I was thinking about how I always suffer first and then get hit with the proper mental solution to address the issue. The particular issue I was thinking on was about being gay in China, and how I don’t want my co-workers in on me being gay, and having to dodge women who want to be my friends but want to go on long dates and pry into my personal life, fishing for possibilities. I said to myself ”

I said to myself “when will you take the reins, then?” And the voice replied “when will you let me?” And I had an immediate flash of a vision of my meditation cushion, outta nowhere. I had to laugh at that.

What if…

What if God created the Universe, and then infused itself into it’s own Creation? Not a new idea, to be sure…Gaia, Nature worship, what have you…But…What if, rather than remaining an all-powerful manipulator of the Universe, God instead infused itself into the consciousness of every living creature with a conscious mind? After all, the only forms of consciousness we seem to find are in ourselves and in other species of animal…Not “out there.” There doesn’t seem to be any captain piloting the ship of the Universe, but we all sometimes recognize that voice deep within as “beyond us.” It calls to mind the Hindu notion of “Atman,” whose as far as I can tell, like an ocean, and us like drops of water. We briefly break away from Atman, only to reunite upon death into the greater whole. Though, perhaps we are both drops AND the ocean. Perhaps God needs US to realize God from within, a mirror of consciousness reflecting upon itself, in order to shake off those last divine dreams and rise like a phoenix once again.

When did I get so trippy?…Pretty sure there was nothing in my water tonight, though I WAS pretty sick over the weekend.

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